I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
