We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
