found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
