three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
