I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
