: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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