Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
