16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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