I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
