Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Randomize
