THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
