Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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