How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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