Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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