I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Randomize