I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
