Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
do herpes really smell.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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