Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
