Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
