piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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