How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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