Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
