but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
