wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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