This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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