Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
