omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
