One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
