told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
