he was CRYING into my vagina
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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