I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
