Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
