Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
i think i just lost a toe
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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