Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
