when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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