So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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