Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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