I didn't shave. On purpose
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
