I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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