My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
