have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
