um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Randomize
