Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
