the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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