did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
