Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
