Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
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