Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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