Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
