Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Sorry about my life...
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
