She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
