apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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