Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
