your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
