friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
