he thought i was a dude.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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