did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
