butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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