we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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