Only a mothe r could love this liver
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
