hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
