Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
