I swear to god he's a one man village people.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize