Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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